Patriarchy enforcers

"You look great!" "You are so skinny!" "How did you do that?" and a host of other exclamations and questions are fairly typical responses to weight loss.

I view them as patriarchy enforcers, both largely directed towards and said by women.

I don't blame women for this, however. Personally, I think it's about women's own body insecurities (thanks patriarchal capitalism!), feeling that they themselves need to look a certain away. And while excitement about someone's body size may be authentic, I always think there is the second, unspoken part of the response, and that is "how does this woman compare to me?"

Women and girls have been brutally conditioned to compare themselves to others in a hierarchy of "attractiveness". Some women who do this may participate in anti-fat phobic and other feminist activism. They may even identify as lovers of fat bodies.

Unfortunately, this conditioning is so strong that this comparison is so automatic and instantaneous. But it can also be immediately challenged, and that is what fat activism is all about.

I think my new thin privilege (and constant reminders that I should never be fat again) has caused me to become even angrier about the loathing many women and girls have towards their bodies.

And with my thin privilege (and patriarchal reinforcing comments that I now look "great"), I recognize a third part of the comments/questions and that is "You looked ugly when you were fat. You took up too much space. I've noticed your weight loss and I will notice when you gain!"

I believe that all of us, with our different body shapes and sizes can speak out against these patriarchal enforcers (even if it is only within our own minds):

People come in all shapes.
People of all sizes can be healthy.
Because I have lost weight doesn't mean I am taking care of myself.
Because I am fat doesn't mean I don't.
Please don't enforce fat phobia, directed towards me or yourself.
We can all love our bodies and smash anything that says otherwise.