A Cat Rescuer Rants

Free to a good home!

Moving - must find home for cat!

Hair and fur balls too much. Come take my family member!

Didn't bother to get my cat fixed. Free kittens!

My partner and I rescue cats - old cats, sick cats, feral cats, abused cats, and cats with complex health needs. We see each and every day the impact of irresponsible people, so perhaps the all too common pleas to rid of one's cat makes me a bit bitter.

My partner and I spend hours each day tending to our fur children - cleaning more litter boxes than you could even imagine, putting down paper (after all, not all kitties like litter!), socializing ferals, feeding wet food in the morning and evenings, topping up dry food and water, giving medications and subcutaneous fluids, cleaning up fur balls, searching out hidden poo and pee, running tap water for those cats who insist this is how they like their fluids, sweeping and scrubbing the floors, clipping nails, intercepting love triangles, going to our regular vet and the emergency vet clinic, grooming and shaving, handing out treats so we can try and make a tiny bit of room for ourselves on the bed, arranging steps so that older cats can climb onto favourite sleeping spots, and giving baths.

We do this on top of our regular full time paid employment (since our vet doesn't seem to accept fur balls as payment) plus other commitments.

But this is not a pity party. We chose to do what we do because it's needed. People neglect animals, abandon them, and physically abuse them. (In the case of Chocos who we thankfully rescued via a wonderful rescuer woman who now lives in the Lower Mainland, some people choose to kill their healthy cat because they are moving. So much for a forever home!)

We offer forever homes, and specialize in cats that wouldn't otherwise be adopted. This means we accept cats from other rescuers, period. Sure, some people would love to give us their cat to alleviate their guilt (and having to confess why they are abandoning their cat to a shelter: "I don't have time!" "I'm moving" "We are trying to get pregnant" ). This would be easy. And nothing about rescue is easy.

We currently have 14 cats. We have had as many as 21.

In the past 5 years we have had to euthanize 9 cats (Chance, Chocos, Christmas, Jaylo, Jinx, Roxy, Shadow, Spunky and Vinnie) due to kidney failure or cancer. Each time we make the decision to euthanize them a part of my heart is torn out, never to be replaced.


On Friday October 7, 2011, at 5 a.m., I woke up to find Chance listless on the bathroom floor. Chance had advanced liver failure and up until then, had shown no signs. (After all, her vegan mom and dad were cooking her bacon, hamburger and salmon; based upon similar methods we have tried with terminal cats, it has always been successful.) On October 7th, Chance didn't acknowledge me, nor could she move. I brought her into bed with us until 8 a.m. when the vet opened, so that she could be euthanized at a place that did not previously appear to frighten her. I stroked her and tried not to cry as she stopped breathing when the euthanasia was administered. I could hear my partner's heart breaking.

Unlike other cats I have sat beside or cuddled as they died, she did not defecate, urinate, or shudder post-mordem. She did not gasp for air. As one cat died in my arms, she peed all over my jacket. It took me a long time to be able to wash and wear it again. A terrible memory, but a memory of a loved one all the same.

This is what people who abandon their animals leave to others to witness and experience.

We didn't wake up one day and think "Hey, let's add a ton of work and heart break to our lives". There was a cat (Dee Dee) who had been abused, and a rescuer, after carefully screening us, allowed this wonderful cat into out lives. Quite quickly, cats with awful histories and high needs ended up in our forever home. We knew that was what was needed.

So we have trapped and rescued three ferals so far (who didn't have a colony and thus would not have survived on their own), taken in a wandering neighbourhood cat with inverted eye lids causing excruciating pain and infection and paid for his eye surgery and neutering, rescued two cats kept in cages (one cat didn't even have enough room to groom her back, so she had extensive mats), taken in cats who needed daily medication (thus decreasing their likelihood of adoption), nursed a seizuring cat back to health, and even rescued a cat who spent a year at a shelter because he had two different coloured eyes. (Seriously? Does that not make him even more awesome?) With each cat comes a story, a personality, and a place in our hearts.

So before you hesitate to spay/neuter your cat (or want your cat to experience the joys of motherhood - because part of that "joy" is ensuring other already existing cats don't have homes), choose to abandon your fur companion in a midnight move or because you can't deal with fur balls, or otherwise break your promise of a loving, forever home, know this: Just like humans, cats can carry around life long trauma. They are triggered, just like traumatized people, and react with fear - to loud voices, persons of the same gender who abused them, etc. They are traumatized by losing their human companions, and they grieve.

And if you want to "dump" your cat on me or any other rescuer or shelter, think about this. Most of our cats (who are 15 years old +) have had between $2000-$4000 worth of dental work, need to see the vet 2-4 times a year at $100-$300 a pop (yearly and bi-yearly geriatric blood panels are necessary and cost around $250), may need life long medication and vitamins (much like many other humans do) and this all costs money.

My partner and I (and other rescuers) do this as a labour of love. Neither of us have well-paying jobs, and my experience is is that this is true of other rescuers.

So give your fur family member a cuddle, promise you will always be there for her/him, keep him/her indoors, and make sure she/he is SPAYED OR NEUTERED.

Cats are more work than one might think, and while they are worth every moment and every dollar, please do not adopt an animal unless you can promise a forever home.

***Important footnote:

The situations described in this rant do not encompass all situations.

As a feminist, anti-violence and animal liberation activist, I have seen women flee abusive relationships only to be treated poorly by animal shelters/rescuers (e.g. who won't offer temporary foster care - EVEN WHEN I OFFERED TO PAY FOR IT - because 'these' women are considered too "unreliable" or "incapable" of caring for their fur companions); as well, most domestic violence shelters cannot or will not offer animal accommodations.

There are also situations where people are incarcerated. Once again, without community (including familial supports) these persons are left without the resources to place their beloved fur family members in a temporary loving home.

This rant is NOT meant for those whose situations seperate them from (sometimes) the most important being in their lives. This rant is NOT meant to hurt or denigrate these persons.

Rather, I argue that most people who are not in these positions treat their fur companions like throw aways, and don't think or care about the long term relationship. THIS is who I am directing this rant at.

Letter to Mayor Sharon Shepherd (Kelowna, BC)

A follow up from my blog post here, I have recently found out that Kelowna Mayor Sharon Shepherd has issued an anti-choice proclamation. (See here and here). This is the letter I have sent her:

October 14, 2011

Dear Mayor Sharon Shepherd

RE: 4^th Consecutive “Protect Human Life” (Pro-life) Proclamation

I am writing as a woman who currently lives in Edmonton but who lived in Kelowna from 1993 until 2006. Specifically, I am writing as someone who lived in Kelowna at 14 years of age, and found herself facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Before I begin my story, I would like to say that I am deeply saddened by your proclamation, while also understanding that you are in a difficult position. I lived in Kelowna when the previous Mayor refused to issue an LGBT Pride proclamation. I do not know your own personal opinions on reproductive choices, but I do know that at one point you stated you would be issuing more proclamations, perhaps so that you would be able to tackle homo/bi/transphobic responses to your commitment to diversity.

As well, before I explain the importance of reproductive choice in my own life, I would like to say that I voted for you because I believed you cared about issues affecting women and other marginalized populations. Unlike many other public officials, I saw you regularly support not for profits and challenge the status quo. I saw you as a caring Mayor, and I still do.

Which is why your continual “Protect Human Life” proclamation upsets me.

When I was 14 years old, I went to Kelowna Secondary School at the old site (on Harvey Avenue). Fearing I might be pregnant, I went to the walk in clinic immediately beside the high school where I am sure many other teenagers went to find out if they were pregnant. My worst fears were confirmed. I know that a number of girls and women face similar situations, and have a variety of experiences (and make different choices), but when I was told that I was pregnant by the doctor, I knew right there and then that I needed to have an abortion. I expressed this and the doctor told me that abortion was unavailable and illegal in Canada. He handed me a list of OB/GYN doctors and went on to his next patient. I was devastated.

I spent a lot of time thinking about various options, and believe my desire to terminate the pregnancy was an informed choice (other than being lied to by the doctor). I thought long and hard about parenting and adoption, and investigated and weighed each option. I thought about what would be best for me, and my pregnancy. Still, I believed (and still believe) that abortion was the right option for me.

As abortions were not available in Kelowna at the time, and because I had been lied to by the walk in clinic doctor, I tried to abort myself. I drank alcohol until I passed out. I hit myself in the stomach, leaving bruises. I tried inserting objects into my cervix. The physical pain was great, yet still did not match the emotional pain I experienced at being forced to carry a pregnancy I did not want.

As a 14 year old, I did not know that there were places I could go to receive all options. So instead, I called local“pro-life” agencies which instilled in me that abortion was immoral and dangerous. Since I so desperately wanted to end my pregnancy I believed I too was immoral and attempted on numerous occasions to kill myself.

Eventually, through the Yellow Pages I learned that the doctor at the walk in clinic had in fact lied to me, and that abortion services were available in Vancouver. Unfortunately, as I did not receive this option (amongst all pregnancy options) I had to have a second trimester abortion. This involved a doctor inserting something into my cervix the night before the procedure. It was, however, less painful than my own attempts at abortion.

I had my abortion at a clinic surrounded by protesters who called me a murderer. Adults yelled at a scared teenager as I crossed the picket line.

Was I a murderer? An evil, immoral person? Did I deserve the verbal abuse and physical intimidation? For years, I thought I did. Thus, I attempted suicide many more times, not because I wasn't confident in my choice to abort my pregnancy, but because the protesters', Kelowna “pro-life” agencies' and doctor's voices filled my head.

Next year, you will likely be asked to proclaim “Protect Human Life” week which reads “It is the intention of this proclamation to promote respect and protection of all human life, especially the infirm, the aged, the handicapped and the unborn.”

I only ask that when you are presented with this request that you question whether I, as a pregnant 14 year old, also deserved to live.

Sincerely,

(name and address removed because it is the internet silly!)

Anti-Choice Ads in Edmonton (Alberta)

Anti-choice ads have been placed in LRT (rapid transit) stations here in Edmonton. (See here and here and here and here).

I believe their intention is to guilt women into not having abortions as well as encourage women to contact one of their "pregnancy care centres" or call their toll free number (1 800 665 0570) so that women can hear misinformation about their reproductive choices and what abortion actually is. (By the way, they will NOT refer you to abortion services, no matter what. Knowing that having a 1800 number costs them money, I occassionally/gleefully call it asking for referrals to abortion providers).

There are a myriad of opinions on abortion and I am okay with that. But what I'm NOT okay with is someone's beliefs interfering with my reproductive choices, whether that be abortion, parenting or adoption.

It is true that most fetuses will continue to gestate and become babies. This is not misinformation. But the LRT ads are tacky, one sided and as one Facebooker pointed out, potentially and unnecessarily triggering to some women who have had abortions.

So here is my solution for alternate ads:

Facing an unplanned pregnancy? Call or visit a local agency which will provide emotional and practical support, and ACCURATE information on all choices available to you. In Edmonton, this includes Options Sexual Health Association, the Birth Control Centre and Woman's Health Options. (Woman's Health Options, bless them, also provides abortion services).

Let women decide what is right for their bodies and circumstances, and trust women to make the right choice for themselves, whatever that choice may be.

Why am I so passionate about this issue?

Well, when I was 14 years old or so I had my first abortion. I lived in a city where anti-choice was the norm. In fact, I heard years later that doctors no longer performed abortion services in this city due to the the harassment they and their kids experienced. So I guess it was unsurprising when I visited a walk in clinic to find out whether or not I was pregnant and the doctor (located next to the high school) informed me abortion wasn't available and wasn't legal in Canada and gave me a list of ob/gyns to assist me in carrying my pregnancy even though I told him over and over I wanted an abortion.

The doctor's response made me attempt self-abortion techniques too gruesome to be described here. I thought about suicide, took every illegal drug I knew with the hopes of terminating the pregnancy and hated myself for wanting to do something that must have been so awful that it was illegal in Canada.

I contacted a "pregnancy care centre" and was told that abortion was murder. So while I attempted to abort my pregnancy myself, I made sure I did so in particularly punishing ways - ways that could have caused very serious issues. After all, I was a murderer!

I also went to the public library to find out everything I could about abortion. There was one book (anti-choice) filled with graphic images and misinformation about what actually occurs during an abortion. I reviewed and absorbed these images and in fact tore out the pictures, carrying them in my wallet to torture myself for being such a bad person.

At some point I actually looked in the yellow pages and to my surprise discovered there was in fact an abortion clinic a 5hour drive away. I don't think I was thrilled but I was definitely relieved. But then I ran into problems. How could I call them without incurring long distance charges that my parents would notice? And how would I get there?

By this time I was in my 2nd trimester, thanks to the lying doctor who confirmed I was pregnant. So while the procedure was still pretty simple and safe, it was a bit more complicated than if I had aborted in my 1st trimester. My cervix had to be opened the day before (OUCH!) but I dealt by (afterwards) drinking peaches soaked in beer. I was also extra horrified because at this stage of the pregnancy, as my ripped out pages informed me, my fetus looked so much more like a "baby".

I made it to Vancouver where I met a counsellor at the abortion clinic who spoke with me about my feelings, options, and what to expect, all the while assessing that this was my decision and no one was pressuring me into it.

On the day of the procedure, I crossed an angry picket line (a woman called me a murderer; another told me that it wasn't too late to change my mind). I felt ashamed. Now, I feel pissed off.

After the abortion, I fell into a deep depression not because the abortion itself was traumatic but because of all of the anti-choice messages I was hearing. I could hear the voices of the protesters and the lying doctor. I looked at the pictures of the aborted fetuses daily. I journalled letters to my "dead baby" apologizing for my decision. Which makes me wonder, when women feel traumatized by abortionh, how much of this is caused by anti-choice lies? But I digress.

The good thing about this experience is that I was introduced to feminism. Had I not been terrorized by anti-choicers I may not have become aware of how their activism hurts women. I may not have realised the importance of choice. And I probably wouldn't have started looking into the history of reproductive rights activism.

I had a second abortion in my late teens/early 20s and it was a much different experience. I went in knowing it was my right, what to expect, and all of the options available to me (and the information was accurate!) This abortion was performed in a hospital without protesters, and even if there were, I believe I would have felt comfortable yelling back at them.

I still have the pictures of the aborted fetuses I ripped out of the library book to remind me why I am a feminist, and why pro-choice activism is so important. These pictures no longer cause me pain or grief. Rather, I am proud I made the right decision for myself, even with the anti-choice pressure.

DSM-V: PTSD, Personality Disorders and Gender Identity Disorder

The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) is published by the American Psychiatric Association, and is a primary tool in diagnosing mental health conditions, such as depression, schizophrenia, etc.

Basically, it establishes the "criteria" people need to meet in order to obtain a specific diagnosis. These DSM diagnoses can be used for workplace and academic accommodations, medical leave, disability benefits, as well as treatment options.

Similar to psychiatry in general, the DSM has a controversial history. In 1973, it removed "homosexuality" as a mental "disorder"; and in the 1994 edition, Post traumatic Stress Disorder was changed to more accurately reflect the prevalence of interpersonal violence (including domestic violence and sexual abuse) by removing from the definition of trauma "an event that is outside the range of usual human experience."

Unfortunately, given the statistics we have on sexualized and domestic violence, trauma is very much inside the range of usual human experience.

The section on "Personality Disorders" has been highly criticized. For instance, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is thought by some (including myself) to be a modern version of "Hysteria". Indeed, they both are highly diagnosed in women, are often the result of an abusive childhood, and tend to pathologize people versus seeking and treating the source of their symptoms.

There is a new DSM coming out (DSM-V) and I hope that BPD will be replaced by some sort of PTSD-like addition, which recognizes that people are impacted differently by interpersonal violence (versus a car accident or natural disaster), as well as ongoing trauma (such as domestic violence) particularly in early developmental years (e.g. childhood abuse).

Various communities disagree in their criticism or support of various diagnosis. For instance, Gender Identity Disorder is the "diagnosis" of transpeople and is viewed by some to be problematic in the same way that homosexuality in previous DSMs pathologized and "othered" something that is perfectly normal and healthy. However, it has also been pointed out that without some sort of "official" diagnosis legitimizing that one is transgender and that living in the wrong gender can be emotionally distressing, treatments such as hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery may not be covered by health care benefits.

The DSM-V continues to bring additional controversies. Trans groups have been criticizing some of the members of the DSM-V Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work Group, including its chair, Dr. Kenneth Zucker, and Dr. Ray Blanchard.

Dr. Kenneth Zucker's work with children and adolescents has been highly controversial. He works with youth with the intention of aligning them with the gender others view them as, versus their own identity. His work has included taking away toys he views as inconsistent with the child's gender, even to the point of the child's distress. Rather than work with families and youth to deal with potential challenges that may arise due to society's fear and hatred of people who are non-gender conforming, Dr. Zucker simply reinforces binary gender roles.

Dr. Zucker's "reparative" therapies are strikingly similar to ex-gay or conversion therapies that seek to change a person's sexual orientation. The American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, American Medical Association, American Counseling Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, and (US) National Association of Social Workers all condemn ex-gay therapies, with various groups noting that not only are they ineffective, but that they can cause emotional distress, including depression, guilt, anxiety, and self-destructive behaviours. (For more information on ex-gay therapies, visit Truth Wins Out).

How someone who has a clear bias towards gender conforming behaviour, it is frightening that Dr. Zucker is not only a member of the DSM-V Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work Group, but he is the chair.

Dr. Ray Blanchard also sits on this working committee, assigned to the Paraphilias portion. This too is problematic because Dr. Blanchard doesn't view transgenderism as a gender identity issue but rather, that it is based on sexuality - specifically, a man's being turned on by the thought of being a woman. He created a word for this (autogynephilia) and needless to say, this is really insulting to transpeople.

I am not sure if there are any transpeople on the working group, and if any consultation was done with trans communities. My guess is that this is a group of either mostly or exclusively privileged cisgender men who are making decisions that could drastically impact trans communities. What a surprise.

Celebrating an Activist

These past few years, I have lost contact with an extraordinary woman - Diane. Her emails and letters bounce back, not only from myself but others, and many of us are sad to think that she may have passed on.

I was thinking about her today because I believe we need more activists like Diane - individuals willing to agitate for positive change for the sake of positive change - not public recognition or wanting to appear trendy. We also need more people willing to stick their neck out, without worrying about who they may offende.

I met Diane over six years ago, and at that time she was in her 70s. When I had a chance to visit her, she would tell me incredible labour activism stories, including harsh tactics employed against a manager who viciously dehumanized and oppressed largely racialized women employees. Tactics like the ones she described would immediately brand someone a "terrorist" or at the very least get them arrested in this day and age; but they were effective, and Diane would settle for nothing less.

When I met Diane, she was Blind and used a motorized wheelchair. She was active in disAbility rights movements and worked towards full accessibility for all. She campaigned relentlessly against sandwich board signs on sidewalks, a hazard for people who are Blind, Deaf-Blind and partially sighted. She also fought for her local recreation board to be accessible to all People with disAbilities.

Diane worked with numerous human rights and disAbility organizations, such as the BC Human Rights Defenders, BC Paraplegic Association, the Raging Grannies and Alliance for Equality of Blind Canadians, amongst others. She helped form a group called "Access Awareness" which worked toward fully accessibility in the Lower Mainland (BC), and was particularly concerned and vocal about the dangers LRT stations (without any sort of barrier between the passenger area and the tracks) created for people who are Blind, Deaf-Blind and partially sighted.

Along with other Raging Grannies, Diane was nearly arrested for singing to BC Premier Gordon Campbell. When he was first elected as Premier, Gordon called for a review of everyone receiving disability benefits (contributing to huge amounts of stress, and insinuating that people with disAbilities were liars) and also slashed and burned funding to sexual assault centres, women's centres and addiction treatment centres. (Note: Soon after he became Premier, he was arrested for drunk driving in Hawaii, an extra slap in the face when he said he would participate in alcohol treatment - something even less people would have access to because of his funding cuts).

Diane also provided support to recently disAbled people in a direct and honest way. While some of her directness may have (erroneously) come off as lacking compassion, Diane wanted people to know that they could still be independent and have a disAbility, and that they needed to start that process now.

My fondest memories of Diane include her critical emails to Jack Layton, head of Canada's NDP political party. I believe Diane viewed herself as an NDP supporter, but that didn't mean she didn't regularly critique their disAbility policies. In fact, Diane was known for shit-disturbing within organizations she supported; she expected nothing less than a total commitment to human rights.

She would cc her emails to Jack Layton to every disability organization and person she thought might be interested. And in her back and forth emails, we would all get to see both Diane's and Jack's responses. I get a sense that Jack was a bit frightened of Diane; he certainly didn't want to piss her off. And he was right to be frightened. If Diane took up a cause, she gave it 110%; you didn't want to be her enemy!

Perhaps Diane's greatest legacy was her push for independent thought. Regardless of the group or work she was involved with, she was never afraid to be critical and cause a ruckus. She fought paternalism and dependence in disAbility groups, and subsequently was very critical of the CNIB. She didn't want Blind people dependent on service agencies, but rather, to work together, to learn together, to be their own experts, and to fight the fundamental root of ableism - attitudinal discrimination and prejudice, including the ideas that having a disAbility is worse than death or that people with disAbilities are innately "brave" through the act of waking up every morning. (Diane writes about this here).

I truly hope that Diane is still kicking around somewhere, stirring up trouble and I am honoured to have met a modern day Lucy Eldine Gonzalez Parsons. Last time I spoke to Diane, she was in Ontario. And while I dread the thought of Diane in a nursing home somewhere, I can see her organizing and unionizing all the workers.